Month Three: Your NapsYou will nap. Maybe twice. Maybe three times a day. You will hate pictures of women in People Magazine who are pregnant and beautiful. You will imagine they nap on their stylist's couch. You will want a stylist. This will be your first realization that you should not get pregnant unless you are a millionaire. Then, in one of your few waking hours, you will realize that the millionaires are too fucked up to have kids; who wants Hugh Hefner for a dad? You will decide no one should have kids, but this decision will be too late. At three months, only the psycho, illegal abortionists will abort. Unless you have been raped. And who wants a husband with a police record?
Month Four: Your Clothes | Your Worries | Your Discharge |