Month Two: Your FriendsYou will receive five copies of the book What to Expect When You're Expecting. The first thing that will offend you is that the woman on the cover is wearing dumpy clothes. The next thing that will offend you is that the book is 500 pages long. You will say (to yourself), I am a busy woman. I do not have time for this book. And anyway I took biology. Then you will eat sushi and your friend who does not have children will tell you you're killing your child and didn't you read in What to Expect When You're Expecting that sushi kills in the womb. You will get rid of this friend because she is a know-it-all. She will be the first of many friends who you dump because they do not have kids and do not understand you and would have dumped you because they don't like kids if you didn't dump them first.
Month Three: Your Naps | Your Amnio |