I brought my pictures to the photographer, and he said he liked my body but I looked a little stiff.

"I think I just need some practice," I said.

"Well, stand up. Let me see you pose."

I didn't want to ask what to do, but I couldn't imagine what he wanted. Or maybe I could imagine: "Well, like what?"

"For starters, you have nice legs, but if you stand on your toes, your legs look better." I stood on my toes. "See," he said, "you're just standing there. You're too inhibited."

I left and I was totally pissed. I couldn't believe I was too fucking inhibited; I thought I'd never be able to turn on a man for real if I couldn't even do it for money.

I went back to my apartment and practiced naked, in front of the mirror, opening my mouth, and arching my back, and putting my hands in my hair. Then I fantasized that I was posing for the "Playboy" centerfold, and there were forty men standing around telling me what to do. I was doing it better than they ever imagined; They all jerked off while they watched me. And I had the most literate, written interview in the history of the "Playboy" centerfold.

 

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