This is how I meet Allie: I'm sitting with a group of people who I don't know very well, and I'm nervous, and I say, "I think my lover masturbates about five times a week." I know when I say lover people think I'm weird. But when I say boyfriend I feel like I'm referring to the kind of relationships I had in sixth grade, or the kind of relationships in Edward Albee plays, and I want to make it clear that I'm not falling into those patterns; I'm making my own patterns to fall into. I mumble it fast, because if it takes a long time to get out, I'm not sure I could actually say it, and when I do, Allie says, "Oh my god, my mother does that, too."